butterfly

in the movie "jack" with robin williams, a bunch of people try to fit themselves into an old tree house. everything seems to be okay, but the wood is whining and it sounds as if the whole thing is going to go falling down to the ground at any second. the frame switches to a butterfly that lands on the window sill of the tree house and the tree house crashes down.

i feel like that is my life and i'm just waiting for that butterfly. i keep taking on more responsibilities and stressing myself out. i want to do everything. i don't like oppotunities to slip by. i don't like to think back wishing that i had done something when i had the chance.
this semester i took on seven classes. i work a couple nights a week at the restaurant and spend almost every afternoon and saturday out at high school track meets, coaching sassy, stubborn teenage girls. 2 days out of the week i am on campus until 8pm. i am raising money for my mission trip and getting my paperwork in line. i was just getting by until we got the news that my step dad got a job on maui and they're moving back and selling the house here so i need to find an apartment, and a roommate. then try doing that without a car.... my car broke down on the high way in the middle of the night in the middle of BFE last week; it's going to be $1000 that i don't have right now. and now within the next week i have an anatomy exam, sports marketing exam, management exam, 2 anatomy lab papers, 1 marketing plan, and a 7pg anatomy research paper due. i make a to-do list everyday and i have to put "eat" or else i'm so busy i forget. where's the butterfly? i'm waiting for something else to come along and have everything go crashing down.

usually when people think of butterflies they refer to the airy feeling in one's stomach when they fall in love or the free spirit of the fluttering insect. i have neither. i don't have time for those kind of butterflies.