Just do it.

Probably not the best (or smartest) way to go about things but as always, I'd rather just do it. This could be a symptom of my coping with loss and death, but I don't think it's going to do me wrong. And if it does, eh.... oh well.

I am about to enter my 24th year on this planet and I need it to be good. Sometimes I forget how young I am. I'm not ready to peak in life, but I sure am ready to live a life I can look back on in 15 years and think, "Wow, that was great."  I want to experience more. 

Up until a couple of years ago I spent my life thinking vegetables made me gag and coffee was gross. Little did I know that once I tried, I would really enjoy them. Now I would rather try something before I diss it, or for the sole reason to be able to say, "I did that." (I also like to write things I do on a daily basis just so I can cross them out.)

There are some things my heart desires to do but are just unrealistic - financially, physically, or... just not possible. I have tried to make this list as obtainable as possible. It was actually a lot harder than I thought. These are not goals that will excel my career or make me more money. They will give me experiences and stories that I will have forever. 

This is not a list of new year resolutions or a bucket list. I just wanted to give myself things to look forward to, enjoy, and remember. Some of them are silly and I'm sure there will people who disagree with some of them..... It's not your list; it's not your life. But let me know if you would like to share the opportunity with me! I will need help with some because I just do not know how! Plus, it's always nice to have a hand to hold, be a light in each other's lives, and share a laugh with.

• Skydive 
• Visit the Grand Canyon
• Learn how to knit, knit something, and give it away
• Solve a Rubik cube
• Have a regular pen pal, actual in an envelope with a stamp kind of pen pal
• Surf more, even in a wetsuit
• Relearn how to ride a horse
• Catch a fish (by any means), learn how to clean it, and eat it
• Volunteer at a hospital
• Spend the day at Pike Place Market in Seattle, Washington
• Learn how to snowboard
• Spend the night on a beach
• Drink wine in Napa
• Sell one of my paintings for more than $100
• Get an edgy haircut/color
• Spend a day in Venice Beach handing out stickers
• Have a Rocky marathon
• Hike to the Hollywood sign
• Ask someone out on a date and pay for them
• Race Na Wahine o Ke Kai
• Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge
• Spend a week "unplugged" - not completely since my job requires me to be on the phone and internet, but no personal texting, facebook, twitter, blogging, or instagram
• Go to a professional ballet
• Buy a random person's meal
• Record myself singing & playing a song on the guitar
• Eat a hamburger from a vendor on the Mexican border
• Take a trip by train
• Stand in a forest of sequoias

So, who's in?

A Simple Big Deal

Last night I had a hard time sleeping because I felt like something spectacular was going to happen today. I was anxious and excited for no particular reason. The only plans I had were to work and go to lunch with a friend. Why was I trying so hard to go to sleep so I could wake up and do nothing that was that big of a deal?

Well I woke up this morning, worked, my lunch date got sick so I ate lunch at the office, and worked some more. What was I so excited for? It's Friday, but it's not as if I am so totally overworked and exhausted that the weekend is something I've longed for all week.

I realized while I was working on my current project that I am just excited for what God is doing every single day in my life. Everyday I am exposed to something new, especially living in a new town. While I was going through pictures for new promo boards for F2F 2011 memories started flowing into my mind from every direction. I became overwhelmed with emotions - all types of emotions! I was amazed by how far I've come since last July. I was excited to see what else would happen until this July. I was soo thankful to be given such great opportunities and people in my life.

EVERY SINGLE DAY IS A BLESSING. Even though some HUGE event may not take place, every single day something new is brought to my attention.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" (Isaiah 43:18-19)

In the same way, don't dread Mondays. I believe that churches hold services on Sundays so that we start our week off with inspiration! Try to see the start of your week on Sundays instead of Mondays. Do you think if everyone did that all of those "Ugh Monday go away" facebook statuses and tweets would turn into "Ugh Sunday, go away, I don't want to go to church and worship the one with the greatest love of all"? .....I don't think so. So try it. It might make going to school or the office on Mondays a little easier. (Might... haha, no promises!)

*************

Matthew 6:33-34

Remember Me?

Parachute is one of my favorite bands. I missed the show the last time they played in Nashville, but tonight, I made it. Not only did I make it to the show, but I attended the private pre-show listening party. I was late which was not so awesome, but the whole show was super awesome. If you know me, you know that I get a little starstruck sometimes. I screamed like a little girl at the Justin Bieber concert. I ran after the Jonas Brothers' bus. I follow Parachute on Twitter. I even thought about moving to LA to find Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. I get starstruck and I KNOW THIS. But do these stars know this?

I am one person. I am one person among thousands, sometimes millions, of people wanting to hug these stars. I remember them because they are only one person to me. I met him tonight but he met dozens of girls. I have no star factor, no "bang" or whatever. I'm going to go to another Parachute show and I bet they all introduce themselves to me again.

What does it take for someone to be memorable? What does it take for someone to follow me on Twitter? ;)

not for my eyes

I found something in the midst of going through all my crap. This was not meant for my eyes to read. It was probably written about 15 years ago. It reminded me how lucky I am to be raised and supported by such awesome people...

"Would it help for you to know how much I believe in you? When things are hard, please remember that. Remember that you have someone who is always on your side, walking besides you whether you win or lose, whether you're happy or sad. In the same way that I believe that a sunny day lies ahead, I believe in you. --K."

Typical Blog

I'm going to go ahead and write about my sucky non-existent love life. That's what a blog is for right? To tell the world about my issues hoping that someone reads them.

I am single but I wear a silver band on my left ring finger. This brings up a lot questions and a very easy escape for bad pick up lines. I have worn this ring since my 15th birthday. My step father gave it to me. It is made of two bands, one revolves within the other. When he gave it to me he asked me if he could adopt me, and I should wear the ring until another man is worthy to replace it. I wear this ring with pride because I love my dad and I've worn it for so long I feel incomplete without it on. I love this ring but it is a constant reminder that I am in fact "single" and it has yet to be replaced.

Most people are afraid to be in a relationship because they don't want to be hurt. This is not my case. I do not want to be in a relationship because I have hurt every person I have been with. I have never been broken up with and I have never been the one wanting more out of the relationship. I run away from all commitment. I know what I have done and I don't want that anymore. I am barely 21 years old and this is the first time I haven't had someone romantic to be involved with. When I first got back from Honduras I was engulfed in the word and what God was doing in my life. I knew he was leading me somewhere great, I just didn't know where that was. Although life continues to be a little crazy and in the midst of a big move, I feel secure with my relationship with God and the life I am living.... and now I want someone to look forward to. Someone to live and walk with me with Christ.

Another fact is that I will not be living in Tennessee for much longer, so it would be just SILLY to start anything with anyone now. So it's hard to know that I will be alone for another 3 months. Then I'll be moving to a small town in northern Indiana where the tall, dark and handsome Christian 20-something year olds are plentiful. (That's sarcasm, I'm pretty sure I have met just about all the men that fall under those categories, and not in those categories, in Warsaw and they are either engaged, married, with-child or commitaphobic.) 6 months there.... and then my love life may start itching for a comeback. Stay tuned...

ask me

i love that some of my friends have recognized the changes i have made in my life. it has given me a chance to be a witness to them. i have been able to share my testimony and they have been asking me more questions about my faith. i absolutely love it. i will never ever stop sharing the love of jesus christ.

three

the only things that i can assure will happen in three years are that i will be three years old and hopefully three years wiser. i have absolutely no idea where my life will be three years from now. three years ago i was a freshman at georgetown college in the small town of georgetown, kentucky. after three semesters i transferred to austin peay state university in clarksville, tennessee, where i have been for the past three semesters. in three days i will start my first class as a graduating senior. three days ago i was in northern indiana. three months ago i was stuck in bed as my then-boyfriend changed the bloody gauze out of my cheeks from my wisdom teeth extraction. three months from now i may be preparing myself to move 400 miles north in the middle of winter - single.

life changes - fast.